Covering Letters To Make Your Stomach Turn
Fluffing up your CV and giving it some sheen with a covering letter is important but restrain yourself…
Or commit yourself to a life of douchiness…
This skin-crawling extract comes from a guy who thought some pics of his handsome self would also assist (via Dealbreaker).
To Whom It May Concern:
My character can be summed up by a personal adage: “The only limitations are rules of science. All others we put on ourselves.” I am willing and eager to do whatever it takes to work at [redacted PE firm] so that I may gain the experience I desire. I graduated with a B.S. in Finance from San Diego State at twenty whilst simultaneously doing an internship at Merrill Lynch. I am currently finishing my Master of Finance with courses from Harvard as well as studying for my level 1 CFA.
Relevant Skills and Experience
o Experienced with Excel validation models, EDGAR, Regression Analysis, Pivot Tables, and Look Up Tables.
o Proficient in creating and presenting Power Point presentations.
o Experience as project manager of business consulting team.
o Strong analytical problem solver.
Hobbies
o Sailing, Mountaineering, SurfingAt a young age, I developed a passion for the interworking of finance, more specifically valuation and financial risk hedging products. While working as an intern at Merrill Lynch I was continually gaining increased responsibilities as brokers in the organization took notice of my abilities. The internship deepened my understanding of financial markets, but more importantly, reinforced my focus to work in the financial field.
I would look forward to an opportunity to work for [redacted] because for me private equity encompasses the most interesting dynamics of the entire finance sphere both in a quantitatively and qualitatively sense. In addition, I want to be part of a dedicated team that strives for perfection on each and every transaction. I desire a career that will continually challenge me and force intellectual growth. If given the chance you have my personal guarantee that my work ethic, enthusiasm and integrity will add value.
Thing is, according to Dealbreaker he did manage to get an interview.
